GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK: EMBRACING SELF CARE STRATEGIES FOR MENTAL WELLNESS
Do you ever find yourself trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and negative thoughts? Questions like: “Am I on the right path?,” “Am I making the right decisions?,” “Am I getting anywhere (because it damn sure doesn’t feel like it)?,”or “How did I end up here? - I feel like a failure!” If so, you’re not alone. These negative thoughts can make you feel scared, lost, unmotivated, and disconnected from your true self: the self that is “on their game,” “in the flow,” and feeling good about life.
This is how I was feeling a few days ago and if you’re anything like me, you can be really hard on yourself. In a world that glorifies constant productivity and achievement, it's easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism and burnout. As someone who constantly strives for success, I understand the pressure all too well. The constant internal dialogue of not being good enough or not doing enough can be overwhelming. I’m a striver by nature: always doing, moving, planning, strategizing, thinking, fretting, optimizing, competing, you name it. If it has anything to do with getting and staying ”ahead and on top” in life (for myself or my family of four), I’m either thinking about it or implementing it. It’s the A-side of my personality. It’s something that I appreciate but it’s also the thing that can burn me out. It seems like I beat myself up at least once a week with things like: I’m not doing enough for my kids, I’m not doing enough for work, I’m not socializing enough, I’m not traveling enough, I’m way behind in life, I’m not good enough. It’s madness. I admit it. Sometimes I have to force myself off of the hamster wheel.
As much as I also value being mindful, happy, and grateful for being healthy and for what I already have, I always seem to come back to striving and the ambition for what I don’t yet have. So, when when I’m faced with something really difficult, feelings of doubt or worthlessness, or when I feel anxious, scared or uninspired, one of my go-to ways of bouncing back quickly is to give myself a much needed break. Just as I would give grace and support to a loved one going through a hard time, I offer that same grace and support to myself.
We live in a world where if you’re not doing or trying, your dying. The expectations that we place on ourselves and our families are high and impossible. We want to do it all and have it all. If you’re not built for it, or just don’t have the right resources, it can be exhausting and discouraging. But here's the thing: We're human beings, not machines. We're not designed to constantly push ourselves to the brink without reprieve. So, how do we break free from this cycle of negativity and reclaim our mental well-being?
For me, it starts with giving myself permission to take a break. Whether it's a few hours or a weekend retreat, carving out time for self-care is essential. My "happy place" consists of activities like meditation, reading, journaling, organizing & beautifying my home, and spending time in nature. These simple yet productive things somehow help me clear my head, reset my over-stimulated and overworked nervous system, and help me get back to feeling like ME so that I can re-enter the outside world, calmer, more focused, and hopefully, re-inspired. It is truly one of the only effective ways that I can banish any dread, worry, fear, or doubt that has taken over my mind.
But your happy place might look different. Whether it's listening to music, playing games, gardening, cooking, biking, surfing, or indulging in a spa day, the key is to find activities that bring you joy and inner peace. Taking time for yourself isn't selfish—it's necessary for your overall well-being. Just remember that the activities/methods you choose need to create a much calmer sense of relief or happiness inside of you (and I highly recommend including a gratitude activity and write down all of the things you are grateful for). I believe that being in a calm, safe, and inspired state of mind is where everyone and everything thrives: health, ideas, opportunities, inspiration, motivation, etc… Which is why I’m writing this blog, to remind folks who are feeling overwhelmed, sad, or short-circuited (like I was) to TAKE A DAMN BREAK from our chaotic, over-thinking, over-producing lives and step back into your own happy place for a while - whatever that looks like for you.
The benefits of taking much needed breaks far outweigh the cost of time that you spend doing this for yourself. It’s like taking a poorly functioning car into the shop for a tune-up. You may not be able to drive it for a day or two, but once you invest the time and money into vital maintenance for your vehicle, you reap the benefits of a smoother, safer, and more reliable ride that will hopefully last for another long stretch of time (until the next required maintenance). And try not to feel guilty for taking a break. I’ve felt guilty before, like I’m selfishly neglecting work or family. But then I remind myself: “How in the hell do you expect to produce or offer anything of value to your family or your work if you feel completely anxious and depleted?” It doesn’t work, EVER.
If you are in a state of anxiety, overwhelm, worry, fear, or dread, take a time-out and check-out from the outside world for a while. Get back to your happy place before you re-enter this crazy modern life we live in. This simple yet effective practice helps me reset and reconnect with myself, allowing me to approach life with renewed clarity and inspiration and I hope it can work for you too. After all, we don’t want to just survive, we want to thrive.
Sending you love, support and good vibes today and always. XOXO ~Penny
